


injudicious actions

by engolras



Category: The Avengers - Ambiguous Fandom
Genre: Alternate Universe, Established Relationship, M/M, Pre-Serum Steve Rogers, Trans Character, mentions of clint
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-29
Updated: 2016-01-29
Packaged: 2018-05-17 02:46:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,123
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5851156
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/engolras/pseuds/engolras
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sam never expected to have to help his boyfriend out of the air vent of a public bathroom, and yet here he is.</p>
            </blockquote>





	injudicious actions

**Author's Note:**

> so i wrote this for the ever so lovely  jrantaire  because, as they pointed out, there isn't enough winterfalcon out there and that's a tragedy.

Sam parks his car, looks at the building in front of him, and sighs.  He swore he would never set foot in another McDonald’s after a drunk Clint got stuck in a playhouse tunnel, called Sam to come get him out, and got Sam stuck in there with him.  And yet, here he is.  

He can see Steve sitting at a table near the window, looking a little suspicious by trying to not look suspicious.  No one eats that slowly unless they’re stalling for something.  Steve glances out the window and catches sight of Sam.  Relief visibly washes over him, and he jerks his head, prompting Sam to go inside.  Sam sighs again before exiting his car and walking into McDonald’s.

Sam sits in the chair across from Steve, who starts eating at normal speed, and says, “You’d be terrible at working undercover.”

“Whatever,” Steve says through a mouthful of fries.  

“So what’s the urgent situation you need my help with?” Sam asks, taking a few lukewarm fries for himself.

Steve swallows.  “Bucky’s stuck in the air vent in the men’s bathroom.”

Sam nearly drops the fries he’s holding.  “I’m sorry, what?”

“Bucky’s stuck in the air vent in the men’s bathroom.”

Sam leans back in his chair and chews thoughtfully on his fries.  “Why?”

Steve pauses.  “...I don’t know.”

“Did you not ask?”

“I was more concerned with getting him out of the ceiling than how he got there in the first place.”

Sam shakes his head.  He leans forward and folds his arms on the table.  “Okay, how’d you find out he was stuck?”

“He was taking a long time despite the fact that he said it would be a brief bathroom stop,” Steve explains, “so I got out of the car and went in to make sure he was okay.”

Sam raises an eyebrow.  Steve avoids going into public washrooms as much as he can due to cis men getting aggressive over his mere presence.  

Steve shrugs.  “Jerk left his phone at home, so there wasn’t anything else I could do.  Anyway, I get in there and he’s dangling from the air vent and I tell him I’m gonna text you to come help him, because let’s face it,” Steve holds up his skinny arms, “I’m not exactly equipped to pull a guy out of an air vent.  And then I came out here, got food, and waited for you.”

“Has anyone gone in there since?” Sam asks.

“I don’t think so.  Pretty sure there’d be a bit of a ruckus if someone did.”

“True enough.” Sam stands up and cracks his knuckles.  “Well, I’d better try and save the poor bastard.”

“He isn’t gonna save himself,” Steve replies.

Sam snorts and ruffles Steve’s hair as he passes by.  There aren’t too many people in McDonald’s, which is probably why no one has walked in on Bucky’s predicament yet.  There’s a table of female college students a few paces away from Steve, and there’s a few sets of mothers and small children close to the playroom, but the seating area is otherwise empty.  Sam nods and smiles at the staff member cleaning a table just outside the bathroom before slipping inside.

Sam sees Bucky’s legs dangling above the air vent panel discarded on the floor, a few steps away from the sink.  He looks up at his boyfriend and sighs.  

“Why?”

Bucky jolts, and the sound of whatever he hit off the vent echoes.

“Is that my knight in shining armour?” he asks.

“Yes,” Sam replies, “and he’s very confused.”

“About how or why I’m up here?”

“Both, actually.”

“Well, I used the sink counter for leverage,” Bucky explains, his voice reverberating through the vent.  “And then once I managed to knock the panel out and onto the floor, I had to leap and swing myself in here.  Ballet is very useful.”

Sam waits a moment before he speaks.  “I can’t deny that that is impressive -”

“Thank you.”

“But I’m still confused as to what prompted you to do that in the first place.”

Bucky slowly exhales, and he shifts himself into as comfortable a position as one can get in an air vent.  “Clint may have convinced me that he’d managed to get up here and hide something in the vent, and I may have only realized that he was bullshitting me after I got stuck.”

Sam looks up at Bucky perplexedly.  “You amaze me sometimes.”

“Aw, are we passed the honeymoon stage where I always amaze you?”

“Not for long if you keep doing shit like this.”  Sam crosses his arms.  “Now, how do you propose I get you down from there?”

“Pull my legs while I try to wiggle out?” Bucky suggests.  “So far wiggling isn’t working on its own, but it has potential.”

“You sure I won’t end up pulling your pants off?”

“I thought you liked my legs.”

“I do, but I don’t think a McDonald’s bathroom is the ideal place to appreciate them.”

“Fair enough.  And yeah, I’ve got a belt on.”

“Okay,” Sam says, grabbing Bucky’s legs.  “Start wiggling.”

The combined effort works well, even though it ends in both of them falling on the floor.  Sam, luckily, doesn’t have too far to fall, and Bucky, luckily, has Sam to partially land on.

“Thank you for coming to my rescue,” Bucky says, adjusting himself.

“Please don’t do that again,” Sam replies as he stands up.

“I’ll only do it if you’re there to save me.”

“I’m fully capable of just leaving you there next time.”

Bucky kisses Sam.  “Nah, you love me too much for that.”

Sam kisses Bucky.  “Yeah, lucky for you.  Now, help me put this panel back.”

They manage to put it mostly back in place, although if anyone looks closely enough they’ll be able to tell it’s a bit crooked.  Sam and Bucky exit the bathroom to a slightly busier area than before.  Someone walks by them to go to the washroom and Sam thanks the lucky stars that he and Bucky aren’t still in there.

Steve, now with one of the ice cream items from the menu, looks relieved to see them.  

“What the fuck, Buck?” he says.

Bucky shrugs.  “I had to test my abilities.”

Steve squints.  “I repeat: what the fuck, Buck?”

“Clint successfully tricked him without physically being here,” Sam answers.

“Yeah, but we’re not telling Clint that,” Bucky says.

“Speak for yourself,” Steve scoffs, pulling out his phone.

“Okay, listen here, punk,” Bucky says, reaching for the phone.

Sam leaves the two to fight over the phone, and heads to the counter to buy himself some well deserved food, trying to figure out how to ban Clint from being involved in anything McDonald’s related.


End file.
